I am a liar 🌧

 

I get disappointed , but don't tell , 

I get angry, but doesn't yell, 

I tell myself , "I can fight", 

When not even the tiniest part of me is alright. 

 I hide all my fears, anxiety and sorrow , 

Calm myself today and turn into the same old-self tomorrow, 

I try hard to find joy in the green leaves, and the clear sky, 

But I am stuck within these walls, where the clock ticks yet time doesn't fly. 

The Heaven saw me completely shattered here, 

He glared at my hopeless eyes , motionless tongue and flood of tears, 

And decided to cheer up my dried heart and empty mind, 

He consoled me in thousand ways,  saying     "You needn't worry cause, you're one of a kind".

He swept away all the clouds, & painted a millions of rainbows in the sky, 

But all that he sees in me is a "will" that has died. 

He is confused,why I still ain't happy now that there are rainbows and the sun, 

But how do I tell him that ,"Rainbows are beautiful,but I am weeping for something that's gone".

His efforts are all but in vain, 

Because all I need now is "Rain".

The Rain brings pain is what I really know, 

But it's worse to weep with a dry heart than a heart soaked with drops of woe. 

He asked me, the reason behind my vanished smile, 

I answered, " As Rain and I are now apart by miles", 

"What can I do to put it back in your face?"

"Turn me into a cloud where I can watch my Rain pouring happily, or send him back as my mate".

"I can't assure to grant you, as you have prayed for such a difficult wish, 

And it's not really your fault neither it's his, 

I know it's hard for him and harder for you, 

But seasons and situations will gradually change too, 

As this time for you is such a hellish test, 

All I can do is wish you, 'All the best'. 

It's better if you understand there's nothing called 'fate', 

Everything that has happened is only cause of you and your mate. 

All I can do is bless you  so you can handle all this pain, 

And for a love that's true like yours, I hope, one day, 

You and Rain will be united again. "

Now, I know,sitting here with the same dried heart, 

Continuing to break part by part, 

I finally know that I am a liar, longing for you with a lifeless body, merely breathing in a state of despair, 

Even though hail storms from you smell sweet, still ,how much more do I need to wait to find you beside me again,

"beloved Rain, my dear"?